Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Old ramblings from my head.

This is something I wrote a while ago but it still holds true. Just one of my random rambling tangents I go off on sometimes. Sometimes, you just gotta get things off your chest.

Sometimes, the me in my head is a lot different from the me on the outside. I envision myself in a certain way but then I look in the mirror and my confidence is shattered. My hair is different, I weigh a lot more, I’m not as talented, and I’m not as much of a badass. My confidence is lacking. My complexion is terrible, and I have cellulite. I want to fix all of those things but my will power is none existent. In my head, I’m always strong and know exactly what to say. I’m more sarcastic and witty. I’m indifferent. On the outside, my emotions get the best of me and I overreact. I try to bottle up my anger and stay calm like in my head, but it ends up causing an emotional explosion. I want to be that stylish, confident, sexy, witty girl that lives inside my head. I want to look into the mirror and see that girl reflected back. I’m standing in my own way. I’m my own saboteur. I get a leg up and then throw myself off the ladder and have to start all over again. I’m sick of it. I’m ready to be the girl in my head. I’m ready to not be trapped inside of myself. It’s time for me to grab a hammer and bust my way out of my self made cage. I built up walls to protect myself from other people and I ended up trapping myself inside my own head. What a stupid girl I’ve been. I’ve gotta bust out. Time to break loose. Stop being lazy! Do something about my life instead of just sitting on my ass complaining about it. Take the initiative. Be brave. Do what I want to do, uninhibited. No more holding myself back. See it, want it, take it, have it, be it. Be like Nike, just do it!

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