Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Dreaming the impossible.

Is it possible to be in love with someone you've never met? Is it possible to hurt because you've never met? Is it possible to feel an empty place in your life because that person isn't there? He's in my dreams and fantasies. Hes there on the edge of my existence in the place where I go when I die every night. He's a real person. I've seen his image, I've heard his voice. Hell, I've even met his band and given his best friend/roommate a sucker. I was so close to crossing into his existence and yet, still heart-breakingly far away.
My feelings make me afraid. I'm afraid I'm crazy. I'm afraid of not feeling this way about anyone that exists in my world. I'm afraid I'll always compare guys to him. He's my ideal. Is that even possible? Do I love him because I know he's an impossible dream? Does that make it safe? Is this a coping mechanism of my mind? How is it even possible? How can he be so beautiful?
It hurts to wake up because I miss out on the chance of him being there. I curse my alarm for tearing me away from him. It's the only chance I'll get. How is this possible? How do I make it stop? I don't want it to stop.
I'm lost...

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